I crack myself up, really, I do.  After studying for my lesson on Family History for the Gospel Doctrine class in our Wood Heights ward, I think to myself, "You know, I really need to start a blog so that I can keep records of our family activities & things that are important to us."  Yep, that's a great idea!  Too bad I didn't remember that I've already started a blog, clear back in 2009.  I have submitted hardly anything, because I evidently forgot that I was blogging now.  Love how my brain works, or doesn't.  Oh, well, it still seems new to me that I'm blogging again.  That's the wonderful thing about a brain like mine, is that old things seem new.  Like good movies or books that I've already read.  Or great conversations that have already been said.  Would really like to see a scan of my brain to see what's going on in there.  Could be scary!  Anyway, feeling like I want to keep up with my family's life somehow, so here goes my meager effort. 
     Last weekend, we had the chance to listen to the girls perform with Liberty Youth Chorus in their first concert this year, well, that's not entirely true - they did sing the National Anthem at a William Jewell football game at the first of this year.  They did fabulous & I was so proud of their efforts & cuteness.  Natalie is quite the performer, as you could tell she was really enjoying being in the spotlight & doing a few dance moves while singing.  She's a natural.  Hannah & Madyson did amazing as well, & were very cute to watch.  Kristyn is more reserved in the way she sings, seems a little more self-conscious, probably due to her age.  She amazes me everyday with her dedication to getting things done that she needs to each day.  She is progressing like wild fire through her Personal Progress goals & it's so neat to see her setting & reaching her goals.  I could learn a lot from her persistence & dedication.  She is such a gentle soul & I constantly have the feeling that we have an amazing young woman in our midst.  Last night, for the YW Evening of Excellence, she & another young woman played 'What Child is This' - she on her cello & Johanna on her violin.  I got to accompany them on the piano.  It was amazing she did as well as she did, as she hasn't picked up the cello much since we moved & the cello that we have now is a little too small for her.  She only had 3 days to practice, as I forgot that she had mentioned that she wanted to play something on her cello the week before.  She reminded me again the following week, which I was thankful for, as I completely spaced it.  I didn't find her music for a couple of days after that & so, it was basically my fault that she had to cram all she could in the short 3 days that she had.  I was a little worried how she would do, as our practices had lots of challenges, but she pulled it off very well, considering the limitations she had.  It wasn't perfect, but I was amazed how good she did.  We were very thankful for Johanna's help as well, as adding the violin to the piece really made it nice.  Natalie loves going to Activity Days every other week.  She is such a social bug & loves playing!  I love how great she is with Hannah & Madyson.  They have a lot of fun together!  It's fun to see them having time to be together.  What a huge blessing it is to be home, spending time together.  I feel very blessed to have time with my girls.  Seth has been active in preparing for the High School play, they perform next weekend.  Looking forward to seeing him in that.  Alex plays with the high school band as well & often has chances to play piano for YM, priesthood classes & sometimes in sacrament for special musical numbers.  I'm grateful for the chance to see my kids have opportunities to share their talents, as they've worked hard to be able to learn the music they have. 
     Seth also was recently approved for braces by an organization that helps families below a certain income bracket.  He is extremely grateful for this chance, as he really doesn't like the huge spaces between his front teeth.  We feel very fortunate that he has qualified for this program, as there is no way we would ever be able to afford braces.  I get very tired of always having to say, "no, we can't afford that", but I would rather do that than go to work as often as I did the last year, because then I never had time for my family.  I was always running from one thing to the next & felt quite stressed from all the pressure of trying to get everything done & keep up with both work & family life.  I don't know how working moms do it all - it was exhausting.  I feel like I'm still recuperating from the stress that came with trying to do both for too long.  Since I quit working, I have felt quite lost in how to relate with my family, as I have time with them again & I'm not quite sure what to do with it all.  I know I love being with them, but I feel somewhat at a loss as to what to do now.  It gets better with each passing month & I know that I just really need to let it sink in that I really can be with them now.  I didn't realize how hard it was on me while I was going through it, but I'm realizing more & more how much everyone was just in survival mode while mom was gone.  Mom's really are the 'mother to all living' that takes place in the home.  It seems that all life & energy seem to stem from me.  There are times that it makes me feel special & loved, but too often, it makes me feel tired & unqualified.  I don't have an endless supply of energy & positive living ideas.  Sometimes it's nice to have someone else be in charge of bountiful living, but I suppose it really is a blessing to be able to have such an influence in the lives of others - I just hope I do a good job!  Motherhood is quite demanding most of the time, but I would take this job over any other! I do like a break now & then, but I know that I am very blessed to have the opportunities that I do, plus my kids are just great people to be with.  They teach me so much and I hope that they will always know how much they are loved.  My biggest regret has been not being able to travel with them as I had hoped.  I so much have wanted to share the wonders of this world, just even the U.S. with them, but we are always too poor to even do much more than go camping, which is great.  It would be greater if we could go camping outside of the 1 hour radius that we usually do, but that is better than nothing.  There is just so much to see & experience, I wish that there were some way to share a lot of it with my kids.  That would be heaven to me.  Maybe in the next life, as I really don't see a way for me to accomplish the things that I would like to with regards to traveling.  We can always watch movies about the places I would love to visit.  It's not the same as being there though, but at least it's something.   Well, I am supposed to get lunch going soon, so I better get back to the realities of taking care of my family.  I do love to write & am grateful for this outlet.  I had started journaling on line as well, but then couldn't continue with that, as I forgot my password & gave up trying to remember it.  It was good while it lasted.  Hope that my kids don't inherit my forgetfulness.  It's frustrating at times, but a blessing at other times.  I wish I could just forget how I get to do dishes every single day - wish that seemed like a new thing!  The day that dishes seem new will be the day that I know I have really lost it!